Little Thoughts

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I've talked about this subject in the past once or twice, and have always felt like such a big weirdo when doing so, but that hasn't stopped me yet. Working from home and living in a small town (that is fairly void of young people) does not make for easy friend making. And seriously no one tells you that once you are done with college friend making is going to be insanely hard, especially if you are just awkward at life. I have some very dear friends who live a couple hours away but that is a bit too far to drive when you just want to grab a cup of coffee after work is done and chat. I absolutely love living where we do, but it always seems like after spending a week in Phoenix surrounded by friends and family, I get the isolated blues when I get back.

Sometimes I just wish I could make a house big enough for all of my friends to live in and we could hang out all the time. 

27 comments :

  1. I know how you feel, mama, and you are not alone by any means. I moved to my amazing city about 6 years ago and I still find it hard making new friends! I am lucky to finally have found a small circle of amazing ladies. It took a long time though...Know that you have friends all over the country (including me!) from this blog! :) And if you are ever traveling through Minneapolis/St. Paul, I'd love to hang/eat/shop/hug! xoxo

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  2. I hear you. I have this problem too. All my friends are from my various degrees and everyone has moved on. I'm still in the city where I did my PhD while I jobhunt but have very few friends nearby anymore. It can be lonely. I'm looking forward to a visit back home in a fortnight to catch up with family and friends and to hopefully starting work soon and meeting new people. I know it still won't be easy then either though-English people are especially difficult to befriend as I found when I first moved here!

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  3. Oh my goodness, I hear you loud and clear on this one. When Ian and I made the move to Jasper a year and a half ago, we were miserable. We went from each having large friends groups in Yellowknife to both being totally alone. It felt impossible to meet people in this little town and the people we were meeting were nice to us when we saw them, but they didn't ask us to hang out. (Something about being in a transient town and not wanting to invest in friendships until people prove they'll be in town awhile. UGH!) Loneliness is the worst. I still get it some days. It's just so damn hard to meet people. And even in situations where I've met people I'm just so awkward that I can't give them my number or ask for theirs. It's like dating is easier than making girlfriends. What a weird world.

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  4. I agree. Leaving college opens up many challenges. Going from having all your close friends near you to suddenly being hours and worlds apart makes it difficult. I live in a small area. I'm back home, but my process has been a long one. It's only been the past two months that I've found a niche and started truly loving being back. I'm becoming familiar with and integrated in a community where I attended high school, but didn't fit in. Now, things are much better. I love my jobs, and I love the people where I live. But, the challenges are still there, especially with a lack of my close friends.

    -Kirsten
    mylifetintedpink.blogspot.com

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  5. Aaah, I feel the same way... right now i'm just looking forward to Easter break, 'cause then two of my best friends will come home to Norway on Easter break, as they study medicine in Slovak normally. It will be so great to see them again!

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  6. Couldn't agree more. Making "good" friends after college is also challenging.

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  7. Woah. Are you living my life, because I'm pretty sure you are? Post-college friends are somewhat non-existent. I've been really lucky and found awesome people through my church community group, but outside of that- nothing. I hear you girl.

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  8. I know exactly what you mean. We never really had unmarried child-free friends our age until moving to Santa Fe (Maine has a similar problem as West Virginia). It's so frustrating not having ready-made friend mechanisms like college.

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  9. I feel super isolated when I'm at home, because there's no one else for me to talk to, other than internet people, and my bird. I do have 1 or 2 close friends that I try to keep in contact with, but it's hard after I finished school, because I feel like everyone has a 9-5 job.

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  10. Just dropping in to tell you that you have a lot of cyber friends!! I know it's harder to go to coffee with us though :).

    I feel very fortunate to be just a few miles from many of my friends from preschool. I can't imagine how hard it would be without them. Hugs.

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  11. i think about this a lot too. school forces you to interact with people your age and you inevitably end up around kids who share common interests. after that, people just get busy living their own lives (you know, doing grown up stuff). spending quality time with a stranger in hopes of building a lasting friendship isn't as easy. definitely takes a lot more effort than it used to, huh?

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  12. I am the same way. I have trouble making new friends. But we are all wonderful in our own way! :)

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  13. If I could build tunnels from my house to all of my friends houses, I would. In a heart beat. My husband is in the military so we are now cross country from all friends and family. It rough but what makes it even harder is that I am socially inept. So lonely.

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  14. So true! Miss the days when everyone went to the same school and just lived down the road!

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  15. so true! the "real world" is tough when you're trying to find new friends. i wish everyone i love could all live within a 5 block radius of me, haha.

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  16. I'm going through the same thing. Pretty tough. We're all too far away from each other!

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  17. Me and my college friends say the same - we want a big street that we can all live on together! It's so hard when your closest friends aren't nearby :( I've also had 3 of my childhood friends move away (the closest is 4 hour drive away) and it does make it lonely sometimes!

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  18. Sometimes, I wish the same. It's so sad to see everybody apart and far.

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  19. Oh lady, I feel you. I don't have the excuse of living on a mountain either, sometimes the city can feel even lonelier. Making friends as an adult is like dating, and I was never very good at dating either.

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  20. I recognize the feeling. I grew up in a tiny village of 80 inhabitants in the mountains of Northern Italy. 70 out of 80 were probably 60+ years old. Add the awkwardness you are talking about, the distance from any populated place and the result is the same.
    A year ago I move to Holland, but still, I finished University two years ago, everyone has his friends here already and I am very shy, so it is very hard to find friends, especially that have your same interests.. I used to feel terrible about it, but actually I am starting to learn to appreciate it and just slowly trying to be more open and get involved more easily in a conversation.

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  21. Let me just tell you that I am *so* glad I found your blog (through Kitty & Buck) today. I just read your interview on her blog and thought to myself, I have got to check out this blog! My name is Em, I grew up and lived in a small town (70,000 pop.) in WI my whole life up until a year and a half ago when I moved to the Upper Peninsula of MI. The town I live in now is actually a "village" (57 pop.) outside of a very small town (2,800)... I also started working from home when I made this move. We don't have things like 4G and since I work from home, I have made zero friends. There's no one here! It's gorgeous surroundings, don't get me wrong. But, I'm still having a very hard time! I just want some frieeeeends. So, let's be friends? :]
    ♥Emma Deer

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  22. I understand exactly what you mean. Even in places where there are people around the same age as you, I still find it hard making friends. I moved from Australia to the U.S (Minneapolis, MN) and I've felt so awkward about making friends. It is a shame that it seems the older we get, the farther apart from friends and family we get. I need to change that. (someone needs to invent a teleporter, so we can be together with our loved ones in seconds!)

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  23. Blerg... I feel like so many of us our suffering from the same issue. Is it just something that comes with your mid-twenties to early thirties or an side effect of our digital world? Both? I dunno. However, I do know I've only made 1 or 2 solid friends since moving from CA to UT back in 2008 and it's fraking depressing. The computer is great for meeting people & staying in touch, but it never quite makes up for the in person friendship.

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  24. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog!
    I can totally relate to this, I live in San Diego so you would think it would be easier, but I moved here about 10 years ago, immediately got married and had kids. I've always been a home schooling mom, so it's not like I can meet people at work, or other parents at their school. My husband grew up here so he knows a lot of people and has a few very close friends...who are all single. The few couples that we have met, I just have absolutely nothing in common with so it just becomes super awkward. I'm sooo happy to have found some amazing blogging ladies, but like you said it's not the same as being able to go hang out for a bit. What scares me the most is the fact that because of this my kids have no friends either, and that makes me sad, we're already thinking of not having a birthday party for them this year, because last years was pretty sad with them being the only kids, surrounded by my husbands co-workers :/

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  25. same. kind of. but I moved back home after college because I was really unhappy with the city I was living in though my other college friends settled there. Moving back home, usually you'd expect an overwhelming high-school-friend-reunion...but since I went to boarding school I never made those connections...in fact most of my friends have always been scattered, and it does get awfully lonely sometimes. I'm somewhat surprised that there are so many of us who feel this way. I'm glad you brought it up!

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